2. Folding your underwear in front of male friends makes them feel awkward

I’ve been a bit neglectful with updating my blog these past few months, but I swear I have not forgotten about all of my faithful readers. I’ve been doing thorough research on how to be socially graceful. All of my facts come from one source: my cumbersome ways. Every few days I will update this blog with groundbreaking tips that will help guide you through the most delicate of times. I assure you that these tips are world-ready and I encourage you to implement them into your lives immediately.

1. When meeting the boy your friend has a secret crush on, avoid telling him ‘you’ve heard so much about him’.

So, I have recently gotten a kitty. He is the cutest, fluffiest, and most loving thing ever. He has also caused me to rethink my desire to be a less awkward version of myself. I am so very tempted to buy a million kitties and live alone in an old house with a large overgrown front yard. When I’m about 40, I just know I’m going to be one of those ladies at work who wears heavy knit cardigans and talks about the latest adorable thing her cat did. The worst part of this all is that I’m totally okay with being that person. Infact, I’m already on my way. The other day my roommate was complaining to my friends that when I used to come home I would call out her name to see if she was home, but now I call out my cat’s name. But I guess for the purpose of this blog (and I guess for my future too) I’m going to attempt to resist all temptation to slip into a world of fewer people and more fur. Let’s see how this goes.

This blog is a place where I have decided I would like to journal my attempts to overcome my awkwardness. Here I will recount my pathetic and mostly hilarious stories about how I struggle to fit into the social norm. I will have you know that awkward situations usually find me, and it is very rarely the other way around... I swear. For example, a couple of summers ago I was innocently walking down the street at St. Clair and Yonge. Like everyone else at this time, I had just come off work, and the street was crowded with strangers. Some distance ahead of me were two pigeons. One was really large and fat while the other was a tiny little nervous thing. As I got closer, the fatter pigeon started aggressively lunging toward the the tinier pigeon who responded by moving away in hurried little steps. The fat pigeon decided to turn it up a notch by flapping his wings in the direction of the little one- a clear indication of pigeon over pigeon dominance. In sheer panic to get away, the smallest pigeon took off in flight without looking at where he was going. Consequently, he flew straight into my forehead. I sported a nice bruise in the middle of my forehead for the next couple of days and because of this I've gotten to recount this story to several curious people, who mostly responded with, "typical Megan".

So, in conclusion, I would like you to join me as I attempt to figure out a way to ward off awkwardness and finally fit into Western society comfortably.